...and
the Haryanvi chhori spoke and my-oh-my how!!
Mallikaah
SheRR-a-what!! was at Cannes to jeopardize the country she belongs to. Va va
voom. Who, just tell us who gave hurrrr (read her) the role of a nHurrse (yeah, u
figured it right. I meant nurse) in some biopic kholled (err-called) Dhurrrrtea
Paula-Ticks (nee Dirty Politics).
Excerpts
from the interview and a piece of my mind. As shitty as Miss big mouth.
She
said: It was not the nHurrse who scandalise the society.
We say:
Yes Missy, because it’s you who’s taken the big responsibility on your slender
shoulders.
She
said: India is a hypocritical society where women are really at the baaatem
(silly me, she meant bottom) compared to men and here was this woman who had
the khorej (oops! Courage) to stand up to this Paula-tishiyan who kind of raped
hurr, mholested hurr, abhused hurr.
We say:
Don’t know about this biopic woman, but you sweetie, mustered all the khorej at
Cannes and raped, molested and abused India like anything. Just one question
(well! Now that you’ve already gone that far) how do you “kind of” rape, molest
and abuse a woman?
She said: Aaahhiii (I) was the
fhurst woman in India to khiss aann (on) screen and whear a bikheeni.
Imhaajin!! (Imagine) and instantly I became a fallen woman and a suphurrsthaarr
coz there is a moral khode (code).
We say: First woman to wear a
bikini and kiss on screen? Suffering from Amnesia, are you? On second thoughts,
we agree that we should not expect a bimbo like you to do a little research
before you blabber.
P.S. The first kiss was shot back in 1933 and the actress
happens to be Devika Rani.
She said: I was one of the fhurst actresses to be khasted bhaayy
Jackheee chaeyn (God bless Jackie Chan). I divided mhaii (my) time between
Lhaus Ahngelees Ahmerrikaah aynd India. So now when I experience that social
exposure in Ahmerrikaah and I go back to India, which is so regressive, it’s
depressing.
We say: Your existence on this
planet has started to depress the demons too, let alone us, poor human beings,
who have to see you at times for I-should-not-spell-it-out pleasures. India is
a regressive country for women? Which part of the world does Haryana belong to,
Missy, that you were born in to smooch a 16-18 times in your debut. Even Jolie
wouldn’t have done that. You must be born in some special part of the world.
She said: I was the fhurst
person to say how are you going to show phaashun in the 21st century. You’ve got to kiss.
We say: ...and so you did. But,
passion is far from you. Been thinking of porn lately, anybody?!
We are not surprised by this
candid (snooty) admission of yours. We do understand that suphurrsthaarrs like
you bank on creating media controversy to hog the limelight for their up‘cumming’
mhooovieess like Dha Dhurrrrtea Paula-Ticks. By the way, ever heard of an Afghan
Hound? No? So we thought. Wait. Ever heard of Google?Err...nevermind...don’t
bother answering. All we are trying to tell you is, after much research, that
you resemble an Afghan Hound.
Hope the breed is not offended!!
For those who haven't yet seen and heard her, here's the video at the baaatem. (God knows whose!)
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